Let me preface this with I was my father's caretaker during his cancer treatments. In 2019, I lived with Dad part time as he had cataracts removed and I helped him with the eye drops as he said he could never get them in his eyes. I lived with him outside of Macclesfield at the family farmhouse that we worked 8 years to restore. I was living in Rocky Mount, 30 minutes away, so I would stay with him for a few days and then back to Rocky Mount to help my daughter and granddaughter. And also worked in Wilson NC (30 minutes away). It was a constant triangle of driving to and from but not a problem. After Dad's eyes had healed, I was still staying with him as the plan was for me to live at the farmhouse some and fulltime after he passed.
In July 2019, Dad called and to inform me he had called an ambulance to his Macclesfield NC home and he was having difficulty breathing. He was in the hospital ER and not feeling well. I went to the ER and stayed with him. It was passed midnight when they found him a room. They had run many test on him, including a CT scan and MRI. They admitted him and he didn't want me to stay overnight with him, but I would come during the next morning to help him with hearing the Doctors and technicians.. Dad was in an accident when he was about 10, he was sitting on the rear fender of a tractor someone was driving down the road. It was hot summer and the dirt was packed and hard. The guy driving fishtailed the tractor to be funny. Dad was flipped off the tractor and landed in front of the huge back tire which ran over his head. He was hospitalized for a period of time. He couldn't hear a thing out of his left ear. He had to re-learn how to walk, talk, eat etc. In the 1980s I had a Walkman and he said let me listen and the music beat tickled his left ear. Said it made him feel funny. Doctors had told him he would have to have exploratory surgery to see what was wrong. That was a big no.
Anyway, I always tried to be at the hospital during the day so I could help him communicate with the Doctors. I was there (working remote) when Dr. Pandit, the Cancer doctor came on and wheeled in a cart that showed the CT scan he'd had that night before. CANCER. Lung Cancer. Small squamous cancer cells in the top quadrant of his right lung. Dad had always stated if he got cancer (65 years of smoking), he wouldn't fight. Seeing that cancer in his lungs, he changed his mind and told them he wanted to fight. And he did. 12 chemo and 6 weeks of radiation. While Dad was staying at the hospital overnight, he got up and was confused; went to the nurses desk and asked question that didn't quite make sense. The asked him to return to his room. He went to the wrong room, one that had clean bed linens and was ready for the next patient. He was charged for using that room. We thought at that age, some confusion wasn't unusual. This comes back to haunt us.
So my daughter and her family were living at my house when we found out about the cancer and I moved in with Dad at the farmhouse, becoming his caretaker and advocate. I gathered his meds info and got pill packs for him, did BP, O2 checks etc., twice daily and cooked and helped him get to Dr. Appts. I'm working full time in Wilson NC and driving a lot. Dad had finished his treatments, driving to all of his radiation treatments in Rocky Mount except the last two. My mom and my sister had met him at these appointments, and I think my mom or my sister took him to his last 2 appointments. I took Dad to his chemo treatment appointments as well as the pre-appointment bloodwork labs.
So at that point, I'm living fulltime at the farmhouse. We are glad that Dad feels well enough to do the Christmas Holidays. And we're settled in the farmhouse. Dad has an episode one night on 2/1/2020. We'd had a scare at the farmhouse as my granddaughter was staying overnight and she placed a hard plastic dog ball on the furnace and the house smoked up and the smoke alarm went off. Dad helped me take the front of the furnace off, and I cleaned the melted plastic (could have been much worse). This activity seemed to bother Dad's nerves. After all was cleaned up and wndows opened to clear air, he decided to go to bed.
Within minutes, he was back. He said he felt like he was going to vomit. I grabbed a trash can and said here... just in case. Sure enough, he started violent vomiting and my granddaughter was terrified that it was her fault. She was hiding behind the high back chair looking at me. I kept telling her this wasn't her fault, She kept telling Papa that she was sorry and it was her fault. I told her not her fault. The vomit was dark red. When he finally stopped, I asked him if he wanted to go to the hospital. He said no. He just wanted to sleep sitting up in the chair. I took my granddaughter to bed at 2am.
I awoke the next morning to the den storm door being opened and shut. I walked in the den and Dad was still sitting in the recliner. However, when I went to the kitchen, there was a wet spot on the floor where very wet feet had stood. I then realized Dad went outside without any shoes on. That wouldn't seem abnormal to most people, but it was February 2nd, and chilly, and Dad slept in his socks, and only walked as far as the recliner in sock feet, and then placed his shoes on first thing each day. He was a diabetic and if he was awake, he had his shoes on. I asked him if he was ok and did he want to go to the hospital. He said he wanted to go. So, I said "I'll call Megan and get her to pick up K". He went back to sleep. My daughter came and picked up K and went back home. I packed Dad up in the car and off to Tarboro Vidant w went. I would usually call an ambulance as it was COVID HOSPITAL and he would automatically get a room. When I went in, I told the lady he was in really bad shape and I really should have gotten an ambulance. The ER was full and any assistance he could get for a quicker triage, would be appreciated. I sat back down beside down and held his arm, he slept. 10 minutes later, we were at triage, and they asked him 3 questions, and took a few tests, and started being frantic. They put him in a room and at least 5 people were in the room doing test, asking questions, etc. It was a long night.
His issues were:
1) Blisters in his mouth and on his tongue due to the vomiting.
2) UTI - causing the confusion of not knowing whether he had walked out of the house or not.
3) Sepsis - found out next day caused by his gallstones, falling into his pancreatic tube, and blocking the liver; so toxins were building up in the liver.
4) Pneumonia - found that out the next day.
The Doctor told me they needed to get him to Greenville Vidant ER to keep an eye on him. They had to vent him in order to transport him and at first they thought about transporting him by helicopter. They tried to get him to use a BPAP bt he kept falling asleep. They didn't want to vent him because with lung cancer, the body likes the vent. It makes it harder to take him off the vent. But, when the BPAP didn't work, they took and xray and then vented him. The Doctor told me Dad was extremely sick and to make sure his directives were available, wasn't sure he would make it. I called my sister to let her know what they Dr. said and we discussed. I told her I was leaving behind the ambulance but was told not to follow them to Greenville ER as I wouldn't be able to be with him. I was looking at those doors and praying that DAD would be ok. I told her I was going to the farmhouse and sleep. This was interesting because it was my first night of sleeping there without anyone else there. I had sent the dog to my daughters house, as I didn't know how long I would be there. I got there and asleep about 3am. Hospital called my sister at 6am and she called me to relay the message. There was no need to go there that day as Dad would stay vented all day. I went back to sleep.
.
He is there for nearly a week. The next day I find out he has sepsis due to gallstones that dropped into a duct near his pancreas. This blocked the liver and toxins have backed up. They tried to do an endoscopy to remove the stones but couldn't, put in a stent instead. (Weeks later they had to do lithotripsy - sonic waves breaking up the stones and anither endiscopy to get them out and the next day a 2nd procedure to add a plural catheter to drain his pleural effusion...fluid between lung and cavity). I'd requested the option of a catheter because he was constantly goomg back and forth to hospital stays, and coming home with hospotal psychosis. (Comfusion). I had to keep the curtains and blinds and exterior doors open to allow Dad to see out, so he would know ehere he was. He woke me up many nights trying tonfind a way out if the house.....not knowing where he was.
He woke up the next day with hospital delusion or psychosis. I walked into the ICU and he was screaming "help me" over and over and over. He was seeing things as an akternate reality. He was pulling out tubes and he was cussing me for not letting him go or removing restraints.. So he eventually gets some better and they step him down to another room. Then days later he is taken back to Tarboro Vidant hospital and then to rehab. He's at Rehab for 5 weeks and he has no idea why hes there and he hates doing anything like exercise, so getting therapy is a trip. The week before he is released, the rest homes are locked down due to Covid. I go to get him when they release him and take him home.
We were blessed with 2 days shy of a year with him and I helped him get better and stronger. The cancer starting growing again and he died on 1/31/2021. I miss him.
The night he died. I took pictures of him just after. Please don't think morbid. He was so relaxed looking and no pain and he looked 20 years younger than he did just moments before. I took a view from the end of the bed. To the right was a sink and a mirror. the light that is near him is not a reflection from the mirror lights. It looks more like his spirit leaving or a spirit there for him. When you open the picture up larger it looks normal.
Back to main story.
1st Visit:
3 weeks before Dad died, something visited the farmhouse. I was in the den and sitting on the sofa. Dad was asleep in his bedroom which I could see him sleeping as he kept the light on in there all night.
Movement caught my eye near the exterior den door. It was a swirling cream colored mass that was about 1 foot wide, 6 or 7 inches deep and I couldn't see inside it but it looked donut shaped. It was swirling clockwise and also the whole thing was moving forward towards the bathroom wall. Dads bedroom was on the other side of the bathroom.
Before it went thru the bathroom wall on the outside (west) top something moved up that looked like the shape of a horse from its butt to its head. It was under a stretchy transparent "fabric " where you could see thru and around anywhere the shape was not. As the shape in the left side of the swirl was going down, on the east side closest to me, it looked like 3 fingers were stretching up. Again the "fabric" showed thru where the fingers weren't at. The swirl itself had ridges down the side like a potter making pottery and putting their fingers on one side leaving trails. It was very ethereal light...hard to explain. No sooner did the finger shape go back down, the entire swirling object went thru the bathroom wall. I wasnt scared and all I could do was look to see if Dad reacted. Nothing. I feel like it was family that visited. The family graveyard is about 100 or so feet from the house. I left it at that. I didn't tell Dad.
2nd Visit:
3 weeks later, Dad passes away with me in the hospital room with him. Nurses said he would die that weekend or early that week. He was on a morphine drip. I was sent home for rest around 5am and my sister stayed the night with him. I came back around 3pm and she went home for rest. Via chat, I told one of my friends I was at the hospital with him and she told me to tell him it was ok to go. I said "My sister wants to be here" She said men are stubborn. It might take a while. I held his hand told him he was the best father ever and I loved him and to tell Grandma and Papa and the rest of the family that I loved them and give them a hug for me. I also said I will carry you in my heart and I kmow you carry me in yours. Within a few minutes his breathing slowed more and he was gone.
I called my sister, and she came back and we spent time with him. We went home and got together to start plans.
3rd Visit:
2 weeks later after the funeral, I'm at the farmhouse and sitting on the sofa. We had moved it from the side wall to the back wall of the den after the hospital bed was moved out. Dad's recliner was in horrible shape and we removed it and took it to the convenience center. The west end of the sofa is where his recliner used to be. When he died, the recliner was in front of the hospital bed (where the sofa now is). As I'm sitting there, I see movement on my right side (east) and I see a transparent candy cane shaped entity coming east to West. Its salmon of peachy color and glowing the candy cane shape is on it's back and the hook is on the left. It travels eye level right to left and and it gets to where his Chair had been originally and it disappeared. I said out loud, " Sweet Daddy, what a clever boy you are for being able to give me a sign that you are happy and well in Heaven". The roles had been refused when I was taking care of him. I was the mom and he was the child.
Dad worked his last job before retiring at ABF Trucking out of Atlanta Georgia. Here in NC we hadnt seen ABF trucks for years. My sister and nephew saw 2 within a week after he died. Mom and I ended up behind one in Chapel Hill one day. I've seen them on Hwy 540 in Raleigh.
I saw one later as I has just past the farm he grew up on. And last Week I went to Tarboro to the Drug store, I was passing the hospital and glanced at the hallway window his room (316) the night he died. And turned back to look at traffic and an ABF truck was in one if the the oncoming lanes.
Before all of this happened, I'd seen movements out of the side of my eye, but thought it was old age. In talking with a friend I found out I'm clairvoyant. I've had other experiences with ghost in my past but not really visual like this. I've also seen orange red static with lighting bolts in it.
My daughter is providing sage to me so I can burn it and clear anything that light be negative. This house was built by my 2nd great Grands in 1879. He had 10 children and he raised his brothers 4 children when the brother and his wife died. I have no doubt there are some earthbound things around. And this house would have been used for wakes...sitting up with the dead in the 1800 and 1900s. I'm trying to find someone who can help explain what I saw with the swirl.
I constantly see shadows and lights here st the farmhouse now. They are coming closer. I can see legs moving in the shadow mist...things like that.
Now that I know I'm clairvoyant (Intuitive, auditable and sight), I've been seeing more movements. I ever see them at night on the side on the road. On Hey 42 I saw a shadow on the side lights that looked like a child running into the road. The only clairvoyant type I do not have is knowing the moment something happens. The moment someone dies. I do sometimes think I wonder how (name) is doing and days later they die. This is mainly with celebrities... last one was Olivia DeHaviland.
And another...when I was in my 20s I was home for the day alone (parents house). Sister was at school, parents at work. I was laying in bed facing away from the door. Thinking of what I wanted to do that day. Someone got into the bed with me. The bed creaked and the weight of someone's arm laid across my waist. I thought I was dead. I turned over and no one there.
Dad had an experience he related to me. The first home my parents purchased in the early 70s was an old farmhouse that the town had grown up around it. It was a fixer upper and had no insulation, so it was so cold. When we would be sleeping Dad would hear a step and dragging sound. He mentioned it to a neighbor and we found out the elderly lady who lived there had a stroke and would take a step and drag her leg behind her.
Also when Dad first married mom, they were visiting and staying overnight at her grandfathers farmhouse in Pitt County NC. My Great Grandfather Bill loved me and favored me because I was quiet and didn't squirm when I sat on his lap. He was scrawny and I thought I'd hurt him. His father's name was Jim-Tom and Jim-Tom was quite the card. Dad woke up to Jim-Tom's ghost riding his side like a cowboy. Safe to say this sensitivity is from Dads side.
The first apartment they lived in with me as a baby was in Norfolk Va. The light would come on in the middle if the night. Any family that stayed took the sofa as it was a one bedroom apartment. You could unscrew the ceiling light bulb till it was just hanging on and it would still come on. Also the water in the kitchen would turn on by itself.
While we lived at the house previously owned by the lady who had a stroke, Dad was a tractor trailer driver. Mom worked 2nd shift. I had the worst feeling that Dad was not ok and this was before phones. I couldn't stop the feeling that something was wrong. I called mom at work and told her what I thought and I was putting phone by my bed. She got the call after midnight. Hed been in an accident. He was ok. A car and stopped and tried to make a last minute left turn and he couldn't stop. His truck Jack knifed and carried them all to the field and woods. There were injures but nothing life threatening (clairvoyant Intuition).
My daughter is more "sensitive" than me. We have some very interesting conversations now.
No comments:
Post a Comment